Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
