not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
