i need an iv and a liver transplant
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
