And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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