So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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