So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
