So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
