He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
