hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
