My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
