it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
