are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
