is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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