Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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