New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
