She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
