champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
