My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I could fuck to npr.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize