just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
