My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
