I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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