Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
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I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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