Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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