In the future we'll all be gay
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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