Don't make out with my wife yet
someone get that fucking seahorse.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize