I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
