??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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