My Higher Power is John Stamos
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
