It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am one with the molecules
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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