pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
