holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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