hotel room ftw
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
