using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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