In the future we'll all be gay
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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