Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She bit a glass in half.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Randomize
