wanna go halves on a baby?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
