i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
