Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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