She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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