dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
