Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
