I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
