The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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