i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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