I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
