Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
