I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just cut my nipple shaving
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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