id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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