I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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