One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
