Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
