so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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