Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize