She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
