After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
