I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
