i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
