I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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